I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

140. RE-RELEASE - Deadly Illusions

What better way to kick of 2024 than by throwing it back to the very first movie we ever covered, a thrilling piece of cinematic art called Deadly Illusions. Kristen Davis is...baffling, the plot is...confused, and all these years later, we still can't make heads or tails of that ending.
 
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139. The Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust

Nothing gets us in the holiday spirit more than a horny cookie. In this non-Gary Busey sequel, the bar drops even LOWER for plot, acting, and puppets. There are satanic rituals, disgruntled "Hollywood" set employees, and a virgin sacrifice, and if you think we can tell you what it all means, well...that's your mistake. Hope everyone enjoyed the holidays, and we wish you all a very Happy New Year!
 
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138. RE-RELEASE - The Gingerdead Man

We hope you're enjoying the holiday season because we're about to ruin it by reminding you that this movie exists. If you're looking for something to listen to while you travel over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house, why not re-live the trauma we exposed you to last Christmas with our coverage of The Gingerdead Man, starring Gary Busey and the thinnest plot available to script writers! And if this isn't enough to get you feeling all Christmasey inside, tune back in next week for the greatly anticipated (by no one) sequel -- The Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust!
 
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137. Silent Night, Fatal Night

If you’re looking for a super intense and suspenseful Christmas thriller, Silent Night Fatal Night is NOT IT. Featuring the dullest female protagonist to ever disgrace our screens, the most incompetent sheriff in law enforcement history, and a kidnapping that a lot of people would consider a luxurious vacation, Lifetime’s latest holiday movie fails to convince us that anyone is in danger of dying here (except perhaps from boredom). A reimagining of Stephen King’s Misery gone horribly wrong, there was only one fatality this night, and it was our dignity.
 
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136. Nutcracker Massacre

You’re all gonna go NUTS for our first holiday movie of the season. Nutcracker Massacre is a sloppy delight, despite not living up to Dawn’s definition of a massacre. Come get lost in the lore with us as we attempt to make sense of this movie’s scant plot and why Clara’s Auntie Marie is explicably American in an otherwise English family. Grab your nuts (#justiceforJames) and settle in for some festive tomfoolery at the hands of a six-foot tall demon nutcracker with a taste for blood…and Gushers.
 
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135. Hatching

This movie doesn't eggsactly go...over easy, and your brain might feel a bit ~scrambled~ by the time it's over, but the yolk's on us because we're the ones who picked it to watch for the podcast. (Sorry not sorry for all the egg puns.) Hatching is an unexpectedly terrifying watch with disturbing bird-to-human transformations, the dreaded Mom-fluencer, and a surprising amount of goo.
 
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134. The Lie

Hey, y'all, remember when you were a teenager and your estranged parents sent you to ballet camp to teach you discipline but INSTEAD you decided to rebel and confess to committing a murder, which forces them to work together to cover for you and fall in love along way? No? Just us? Might be hard to relate to this one then. Let us walk you through the wildest reimagining of The Parent Trap we've ever seen and help you understand at the very least that Joey King understood the assignment.
 
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133. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

Holy moly, it's been a long time since we've had a doozy like this. The awkward dialogue, the wooden acting, the lack of any appropriate reactions to completely bizarre scenarios -- it's all coming together to make one of the worst cinematic gumbos we've had the misfortune to experience (so far, anyway). We don't recommend viewing The Killing of a Sacred Deer, but we DO recommend listening to our recap instead because y'all need to hear about this one.
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