I Hate It, Let’s Watch It

153. Shattered

One of the best "How NOT To" guides we've ever seen on how to rob a millionaire, Shattered is going to teach you everything you don't want to do on your next Robin Hood-inspired adventure, starting with rule #1: Leave your stepfather OUT OF IT. And if you don't feel like watching the entire thing, just check out the two-minute trailer, which manages to spoil pretty much every plot twist that might have made this movie interesting...and then come listen to us fill you in on the rest (of which, there is not much).
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152. The Lost Daughter

Should have called this movie The Lost Plot, because we sure as hell couldn't find it. The movie shamelessly teased us with the promise of an exciting plot twist or a dangerous encounter only to give us...a worm. And an appreciation for our own mothers, who could never even come close to the insanely selfish matriarchs featured in The Lost Daughter. What a snoozefest. Save yourself some time, and just listen to us tell you about it.
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151. The Bunnyman Massacre

Hop on board the crazy train with us this Easter and give this eggs-ellent movie a chance! What more do you need to celebrate the most solemn and holy high holiday of the Catholic religion than an elementary school bus massacre, a token pair of fake breasts (that bait you into thinking this might be a sexy movie -- it's not), and a mentally unstable man in a bunny suit with an unlimited arsenal of weapons? All of that has to be in the Bible somewhere. And if you like this movie, apparently it's the second movie in a trilogy, so good luck with the rest of them.
 
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150. Irish Wish

We've said it before, we'll say it again: We are HERE for Lindsay Lohan's comeback. And while Irish Wish might have SOME flaws (i.e. confusing lore, total lack of chemistry between almost all of the characters, a criminally underutilized Jane Seymour, and corny rom-com tropes), Lindsay and her uber-charming opposite played by Ed Speleers save this film from being total garbage. Be careful what you wish for -- because regardless of what it is, St. Bridgette is gonna do whatever the hell she wants.
 
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149. Polaroid

Ahh, a movie that finally dares to posit the question...if most people are afraid of the dark, why not make the entire movie dark? Like, SO DARK that they can't even see the ACTUAL scary things that are going on. It's brilliant. It's bold. It's impossible to watch within a one-mile radius of a light source. So close your eyes and let us guide you through the poorly lit journey that is Polaroid, a movie about voodoo photography that never quite...develops into its full potential.
 
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148. RE-RELEASE: Deep Water

Now that we're all nice and turned on by our sexy February line-up, we'd like to keep the spice levels high with a movie that features graphic snail sex and 45 seconds of Jacob Elordi. That's right. You're WELCOME. One of our favorites from the archives, Deep Water is a must-see and if you're not convinced, you will be by the end of this episode.
 
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147. Leap Year

Forget Valentine's Day -- Leap Year is obviously the sexiest, most romantic holiday of them all, and we have the movie to prove it. This film has it all: zero nudity, zero sex, and zero chemistry, plus enough tired rom com tropes you could choke to death on them. Even Dawn's "favorite" leading lady, Amy Adams, can't save this excruciating nothingburger from boring us to tears, so forgive us while we Irish goodbye the heck out of here.
 
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146. Wild Things

We're closing out our ~threesome~ of sexy February movies with the 1998 classic erotic thriller, Wild Things, only one of us found this movie erotic or thrilling (hint: it's Dawn). While we did not necessarily agree on whether or not this was a good movie worthy of praise, we definitely agreed on this: Bill Murray carried this whole film on his back (with a not-so-modest assist from Denise Richards' breasts). If you followed along with us on our ménage a trois of sexy picks this month, be sure to stick around to the end of this episode to hear which was our favorite! We'll see you in the Leap Year!
 
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